The Life of an Ambivert

It did not live up to the expectations that were anticipated by the audience and onlookers. I didn't want to go but from what I heard from my seniors, Diwali celebrations catered by the last batch was done really well. Can't say the same for this year. The first day was songs. Traditional would have worked best, since Diwali is a celebration of traditions. Apparently someone thought it would be appropriate to sing Bollywood. The second and third day was lunch. Well known in South India for its signature style of cutlery, they decided to provide a rather pricey meal. Since most Indians and Sri Lankans here aren't literally from India and Sri Lanka, I disregarded the fact that the meal wasn't vegetarian. It's Diwali. There are religious standards to uphold. Then came the flash mob. The Indo-Lankan Amalgamation, as it should be known has a spectacular seventy-six member count. Excluding myself and say ten others, sixty-five members. The flash mob was only thirty...

How do you begin a conversation with a person you don't know? You see this person, and nothing enters your head. There are so many things to start a conversation with, but nothing. It's not fear or embarrassment, just nothing. Even if I used this as a started joke, it's like, ''Can't do this forever right, got to transition.'' Maybe if I spent time thinking and preparing for it, and just did it. It works a lot better if I'm not myself, because when I am myself, it usually never works out. I realized that during my debate session. What I said was absolute crap, and the way I spoke was ten times as worse. If I wasn't myself it would've gone well, I'm sure of it. 

Why are people the worst you ask? A hungry stray cat is following you as you try to walk towards your building. You can't even enter the elevator because the thing decides to walk inside. You want to remove it safely when you are interrupted by an elderly couple. They take this opportunity to press a button on the elevator and send the cat on its own all the way to the 10th floor.

I seem to have a rather strange ability to destroy any relationships that I create. It took me only three months and I have already lost two friends, the best part being that I predicted it a month before I knew it would happen. As of this moment, a person I thought of as a close friend is treating me like I don't exists. There she sits, across from the table I am sitting on, as if to make a statement that yes, I am ignoring you and you can't tell why but you have done something bad and I will never tell you what you did. The Gujju. I started writing this piece like a minute and I had already peaked her curiosity by aggressively typing at the keyboard, she glances up ever so slightly to look at what I am doing, and understanding the distinguishable trait of mine (typing at the university), she goes back to reading her notes. The worst part of all this is that I don't know if I have actually done anything wrong, I probably have though. However, I thought we had reached a ...

How do I control my emotions? No, how do I make them go away?

We had our first laboratory session two days ago. We had to view our blood under a microscope to identify difference in salt content. Now we had to use a Lancet, the device used to draw a tiny amount of blood for blood-glucose tests. It doesn't hurt at all. It is literally nothing to be afraid of. What most people hate about it though, is the wait. The anticipation that a needle will prick your skin, and from earlier experiences with big needles often scare people. Many students were scared of the initial two seconds and fine afterwards. However, the anticipation for watching the Joker movie, now that has been killing me.

Half  a dozen posts ago, I wrote about how after orientation week none of us group members would actually remain as friends with everyone else. I can gladly say that I am right. It's unfortunate, yes but inevitable. And now the same is going to happen with my current friends as well. It will all happen due to me and my personality. Mostly because none of them have seen my bad side. No one knows about it. My nihilistic side. You must be wondering, talking about wouldn't help my cause right? I don't care to be honest. It is inevitable in the end, hence there is no point in delaying it.