The Life of an Ambivert

It has been twenty three hours since I slept properly. Studies have been going well. My lectures began like clockwork. I had the good fortunate of going home early. I knocked out a good set of hours studying. Had dinner. Watched the genius of Larry David at work. I played popl for a couple of hours and then spend some time with my house mates playing PUBG. It was a good break. To compensate I spent the next four hours studying and then went to the gym. Three hours later I was back in the lecture hall. I guess I am at my best when I don't think about my next move. (Edit: So sleepy I missed out multiple words my first attempt at writing this)

I would love to speak to a therapist. It might be fun, it might be boring, it might be painful. It will be an experience. Writing this blog is therapeutic in a way, but the supposed conversation that I seem to be having is always one-sided. It should be quite something else to have someone respond in a meaningful way to what I have to say. Someone who can provide a third-person perspective, devoid of any personal bias. Of course, every person makes judgement based on what they hear and correlate it with how much they know about the person. Maybe that is why I don't talk primarily to my friends about this I guess.

I dont like wearing masks, even out of necessity. Especially not for an excess of ten hours, the exact amount of time it took to get to Kuala Lampur and through its airport. Night flights usually help because I can't sleep on a plane and exhaustion helps me get there. The fear of imminent death from exposure kept me awake. There was a kid coughing and sneezing the entire time on the flight. So, I don't remember if I have talked about this, it has been quite some time but I smoked cigarettes with my best friend. I think I have mentioned it before. He came to Dubai for his vacations, and we smoked to celebrate. Considering the guy is a chimney compared to me, we thought it was quite the bonding moment for us to share one together. And we did. and my dad saw us. And he mentioned during a dinner two days later. I keep thinking about odds. Probability. Us being outside somewhere, choosing a non-discreet time to stand out in the open, and my dad sees us. That right turn onto the...

The semester break has officially begun. I spent the first eight hours of the break sleeping for an hour at a party, then going home to pack my bags and wash the dishes as I sing duets with Solomon Burke, watch episodes of Sex Education S2, work out at the university gym and play a couple of games of pool. That's not how I want the rest of my break to go. I should really plan it out. 

The title has nothing to do with Charles Dickens' novel. It has to do with me deciding to cook a dinner for a number of people since collectively, our semester will end in four days. I can't tell if I may have bitten off more than I can chew with the menu because it is quite extensive. My friends are expecting a lot, which isn't stressful for me nor is it overwhelming. It's just that I don't want to cook too much because there would be no one left around to eat it the next day. Maybe I might not even cook at all so soon after new year's. After coming back from my vacations seems like the better option, frankly. Let's see. This is what I settled on. Honey-glazed salmon Asparagus stuffed chicken Mashed potatoes / Macaroni and cheese (haven't decided on that) I will be going back to Dubai soon however, which is delightful. One month of bliss. Of course, I have a lot of goals that I want to achieve when I am there. Start boxing again, work on m...

I decided to fast since midnight of 1st January 2020. It lasted for sixty-one hours. I ended it with a 500 ml fresh juice, which then led my body to respond promptly, by forcing me to race home and vacate my bowels. Apparently my stomach cannot handle crushed apple, mango, celery and orange. At home, a bowl of nuts and gooseberry jam set me straight. I also decided to go vegetarian for a whole year, as my resolution. Most resolutions I think are without consequence. People only carry around a fleeting guilty conscience about not following their goals for the year. I have decided to punish myself with 500 push-ups if I fail at my goal. 

I wish you a happy new year.