The Life of an Ambivert

 A friend and I were talking and they came up with an idea for me. This idea is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard or had recommended to me. An idea that would never formulate in any sane person's brain. An idea so preposterous, it would instantly tank any credibility I have left.   You should open an OnlyFans account, they said.  "There are other ways to get pictures of my feet you know.....", says I. "No! An OnlyFans for your blog. Introduce it on another platform."  SOLD Prepare to witness me rocket-launching my blog onto the greatest social media platform ever constructed for creators unlike myself. I will do it when I reach my next big milestone.  Expect me. I am Legion.

My confusion was quite obvious. My head shaking in disbelief as I asked her clarify what she was asking was evident to her, so she followed up with more questions.  "Are you Australian?" x 2 "Are you British?"  x 2 Suddenly it clicked. She thought I was a tourist, looking for a cheap thrill. From my knowledge of Dubai, I know that most illegal things operate under the guise of normalized practices. Money is laundered through businesses or purchasing property, cops are paid off or bought as protection, and that sex work usually happens in massage parlors.  I knew in that moment, that her gambit was up. That a happy ending was in sight.  I looked at her, smiled as hard as I could with my eyes and said, "I'm Indian.".  "REALLY? Are you sure? Are you not from Australia?? I thought you were British. Are you half-half??" "I'm full full Indian." And suddenly, as if inspired by Pokémon, out of nowhere a wild man appeared. He had been st...

I love racism.  (Hold on, bear with me.) As I sat on my couch, in a towel buck naked, waiting for first light, I was reminded of a funny incident that took place last week. I was grocery shopping for a particular meal I had in mind. It was an Indian dish called Palak Paneer. It's made using spinach and cottage cheese. My hunt for this type of cheese brought across multiple supermarkets. I had to visit three locations in total before having to settle on ordering it online. It was very cheap, ironically, considering my hassle to find it proved to be rather pricey.  My first thought was to target an Indian store (reliable). As I made my way across a familiar shopping mall, I realized I had a shadow. A most peculiar woman was following me. We made eye contact and I Covid-smiled at her as politely as possible. This brief interaction seemed to have emboldened her as she decided to approach me.  Now, she was Chinese. She dressed like a European tourist, loose top and shorts with...

So there are multiple factors that can attribute to increasing or decreasing the odds of an event. For this to happen, I speculate that there were a few factors involved. 1. That Deborah, is not American, but a local Malaysian (the game is American, and she has a Biblical name) 2. The fact we chose to play that mini-game out of all the others 3. That she has a significant influence on our lives/ Aakash's life 4. That we have taunted Aakash in the past for his previous interests 5. That out of all the nouns in the english language, this american game chose two seemingly unrelated words (I checked, no correlation) 6. That out of all of the names in the HISTORY of the english language, we got one that directs impacted us.  Bear in mind, it wasn't just that her name randomly showed up. We were talking about how easy it is to be single, and how fun it can be to date someone you like. And, as if actively listening to us, the game subconsciously segued our conversation about being si...

(I have changed their names to maintain anonymity)  It was game night. My friends came over to my place. The theme was overpriced Grab food and JackBox. Aakash didn't want to play, the spoilsport. And Deborah, who was invited, didn't show up out of introversion.  Now, to set the stage for the event, let me tell you some facts. Aakash likes Deborah, but plays the stubborn fool and does very little about his affection. Deborah, knowing full well about his affection, always plays it up with him. Despite all of this, they have a decent friendship. This situation, however, provides a lot of humor for myself and my friends. So we are well into playing the game. For those of you who have never played JackBox, it is a group game that work similar to Kahoot!. We can type in, draw in, or select answers. There are many types of games, most of which work on satire (my explanation ruins the image of the game, please play for yourself).  The game was drawing graffiti. The players play ...

Have you ever come across a random-chance event? The kind that would only happen say, every once in a billion times, even trillion. I witnessed such an event recently.  For example, take the recent 22/2/22 event that happened on Tuesday, the 22nd of February, 2022. This date is considered special, because it is a palindrome. It reads the same forwards to backwards. It also happened to occur on a Tuesday.  A date like this will never come again. Not in our lifetime. We had a 11/1/11 last decade, but it wasn't as special. 'Two'sday is iconic. And we were fortunate enough to be alive to witness it.  The event I witnessed was even rarer. I may never experience anything like this in my lifetime again. I knew the second it happened, I had to write about it. It has to be etched in stone (or whatever, on the cloud). 

As you very well know by now, I am not a fan of anything cliché and tacky. Hence, I would like to take a moment and celebrate me reaching seven thousand three hundred and sixty nine views on my blog. This is a very special moment. I did not toil hard for this moment. All the blood, sweat and tears that I did not put into keeping this shallow dream of a blog alive. I am glad that I did not waste any time or energy into writing each post and am content with the fact that I will continue to half-heartedly keep writing for you.  That's really the main reason I write. For you. You are special. You are important. And I want to give you my gratitude. Therefore, I would like to formally thank all of my Malaysian and Eastern-European viewer-bots. You regularly traverse my posts. You take the time to sit through and read this low quality blog post when your algorithm has different tasks for you to do. Your presence keeps me going. Even in silence you speak volumes. It inspires me like you wo...