The Life of an Ambivert

 I should start finding alternatives to how I begin these posts, because very frequently do I start them off with some iteration like, "It's been quite some time" or " too much time has past'' etc.  It has been been 84 years since I wrote my last post. I can't be bothered to remind myself what I had written about. Best case scenario, it makes me nostalgic. Worst case, I die from embarrassment. I have been meaning to write something for a while, don't get me wrong. I just haven't found anything to write about. Granted, at first I thought it was because my life had been pretty uneventful these past few months, but that's not the case. It's been pretty spectacular lately. Maybe there was a different reason. Perhaps I strayed from the original intent that I had for this blog. So, here I am, once again, willing to breath in renewed life into this creation. Today's story is about how I burned my back. Picture me, a mere child at 12 years old...

It has been a while. Too much and too little has happened, these past two months. Sudden highs followed by depressive lows and vice versa. Intuition is funny.  On a primal basis, it is an incredible mechanism that we freely fashion to our specifications. Over the years, evolution helped us chisel away at this raw block of intuition and prepare it to take many forms. Some use it as a weapon, to others it is a coat of armor. And of course, there are those who prefer not to let it take any shape, let it remain raw with potential. My intuition, I believe has the shape of a cannon. Heavy, blundering, prone to rust if not used regularly and maintained, and is equipped with unfortunate tendencies to jam when required. But, if used correctly, has a devastating effect in your favor. [I wanted to include cannon misfiring as well but a quick google search led me down a not-so PG route; look it up] Follow your instinct.  I learnt recently that the most important thing about intuition is n...

 A friend and I were talking and they came up with an idea for me. This idea is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard or had recommended to me. An idea that would never formulate in any sane person's brain. An idea so preposterous, it would instantly tank any credibility I have left.   You should open an OnlyFans account, they said.  "There are other ways to get pictures of my feet you know.....", says I. "No! An OnlyFans for your blog. Introduce it on another platform."  SOLD Prepare to witness me rocket-launching my blog onto the greatest social media platform ever constructed for creators unlike myself. I will do it when I reach my next big milestone.  Expect me. I am Legion.

My confusion was quite obvious. My head shaking in disbelief as I asked her clarify what she was asking was evident to her, so she followed up with more questions.  "Are you Australian?" x 2 "Are you British?"  x 2 Suddenly it clicked. She thought I was a tourist, looking for a cheap thrill. From my knowledge of Dubai, I know that most illegal things operate under the guise of normalized practices. Money is laundered through businesses or purchasing property, cops are paid off or bought as protection, and that sex work usually happens in massage parlors.  I knew in that moment, that her gambit was up. That a happy ending was in sight.  I looked at her, smiled as hard as I could with my eyes and said, "I'm Indian.".  "REALLY? Are you sure? Are you not from Australia?? I thought you were British. Are you half-half??" "I'm full full Indian." And suddenly, as if inspired by Pokémon, out of nowhere a wild man appeared. He had been st...

I love racism.  (Hold on, bear with me.) As I sat on my couch, in a towel buck naked, waiting for first light, I was reminded of a funny incident that took place last week. I was grocery shopping for a particular meal I had in mind. It was an Indian dish called Palak Paneer. It's made using spinach and cottage cheese. My hunt for this type of cheese brought across multiple supermarkets. I had to visit three locations in total before having to settle on ordering it online. It was very cheap, ironically, considering my hassle to find it proved to be rather pricey.  My first thought was to target an Indian store (reliable). As I made my way across a familiar shopping mall, I realized I had a shadow. A most peculiar woman was following me. We made eye contact and I Covid-smiled at her as politely as possible. This brief interaction seemed to have emboldened her as she decided to approach me.  Now, she was Chinese. She dressed like a European tourist, loose top and shorts with...

So there are multiple factors that can attribute to increasing or decreasing the odds of an event. For this to happen, I speculate that there were a few factors involved. 1. That Deborah, is not American, but a local Malaysian (the game is American, and she has a Biblical name) 2. The fact we chose to play that mini-game out of all the others 3. That she has a significant influence on our lives/ Aakash's life 4. That we have taunted Aakash in the past for his previous interests 5. That out of all the nouns in the english language, this american game chose two seemingly unrelated words (I checked, no correlation) 6. That out of all of the names in the HISTORY of the english language, we got one that directs impacted us.  Bear in mind, it wasn't just that her name randomly showed up. We were talking about how easy it is to be single, and how fun it can be to date someone you like. And, as if actively listening to us, the game subconsciously segued our conversation about being si...